Beliefs can be very sneaky.
Sometimes you don’t even know they exist inside you. These are the ones you need to watch out for.
You don’t know if it’s causing you damage or helping you.
Here’s 4 common beliefs that you might not be aware that you had them or even think that they’re good beliefs to have, but actually may be doing you much harm to your sense of worth.
1. What others say or think about me are true
When others criticize us, we feel hurt or angry. When others praise us, we feel happy.
The reason why we feel this way is because deep down inside, we believe what other people say about us.
If they say bad things about us, we believe it’s true – that we are bad.
We think that other people know the best of us – that they know everything about us and they have the power to determine our worth.
We often look at everything outside of us to decide where in the meter stick of self-worth we are at. But this is letting other people and external things determine what we’re worth, and we really can’t control this at all.
That’s why we feel so anxious and terrible – because our self-worth is grounded upon such a fragile, fickle, and uncontrollable source.
Remember that everybody has their own opinion but that doesn’t mean their beliefs are true. Don’t let them become gods who can judge whether you should deserve punishment or not.
They are humans and their feelings and beliefs are theirs, not yours to mind with.
Your worth comes from a much deeper, infinite source.
2. I am not capable of overcoming my feelings or certain situations
Sometimes, when we feel overwhelming feelings, we don’t think we can overcome those feelings and we don’t believe that we will be okay.
That’s why we can’t throw away (or donate) the 23 pair of pants we keep in our closet – because who knows when we might need them?
We’ll feel so regretful and frustrated, and we don’t believe we can deal with that, so we better just keep these pants that will take up so much space and I will never really wear.
Or maybe you want to make art and sell them but you’re afraid you will feel so embarrassed and vulnerable about your work, so you don’t put yourself out there.
You don’t think that you’ll be able to be okay with others’ feedback, and you don’t think that your work is worthy enough to survive through rejections.We think we will be hurt so much from this situation that it will be the end of us.
Doesn’t that sound ridiculous though? Of course you can get through it.
You have been doing that for your WHOLE life. You can do it again this time.
It’s time to believe in yourself.
3. I know what other people want from me
We assume that other people would like and approve certain kinds of behavior from us. So we behave a certain way – do favors, shut up when our opinions don’t seem welcome, and say generally “nice” things.
We basically put up a mask and believe that our real self is unlovable. This eats away at our self-worth because you are essentially saying to yourself that the real you are not worthy of love or value.
However, think about it this way.
What if you don’t really know what other people will like? They might really like the “real” you – the weird, “abnormal,” and unpopular side of you.
They might be the kind of person who values genuineness, eccentricity, or what have you.
How would anybody know anyways?
4. I have no choice in this matter
We got to listen to our boss and do what they say. We have no other choice.
But do you really have no other choice? Isn’t there always another choice?
You could “not listen” to your boss; you could express your opposing thoughts. That can be the other choice. But you don’t dare think of that as a viable choice.
You believe that if you don’t choose to do this, the other option is so terrible – it will be the “end.”
And so you have no power over this matter. You just gotta do something you hate because that’s the way to survival.
But this way of thinking assumes that you are not able and worthy of honoring what you truly want.
You are saying “no” to yourself and acquiescing to the situation.
You believe you have no power to change the situation – to negotiate, create a new solution, and have a win-win result. But you do have the power, although it is really hard to recognize that you do because you invested in so much in your low worth and victim identity.
The sneaky aspect of these beliefs are that they are at the surface most of them don’t seem dangerous. But if you dig a little deeper, they beliefs that support the idea that your worth is low – they deny you the love, acceptance, freedom, and power that you actually have.
To really find trust in yourself and your worth, it is imperative to release these beliefs because they are the pillars that support the idea of low self-worth.